Wednesday, April 25, 2012

TICKED-OFF TRANNIES WITH KNIVES

TICKED-OFF TRANNIES WITH KNIVES

A GROUP OF TRANNIES GET ATTACKED BY THREE BIGOTED MEN.  THE SURVIVORS DECIDE TO GET REVENGE ON THE ATTACKERS, AND DO SO IN MANY HORRIBLE AND ODD WAYS.
THIS IS A CAMPY GRINDHOUSE STYLE REVENGE FILM THAT WILL LEAVE YOU LAUGHING AND CRINGING AT WHAT HAPPENS.  MOST OF IT IS WAY OVER THE TOP: THE ACTORS, THE WRITING, THE DIRECTING AND THE VIOLENCE.  AS A RESULT, SOME OF IT DOESN'T WORK, BUT FOR THE MOST PART, IT DOES WORK VERY WELL.  I FOUND IT TO BE ENJOYABLE AND ENTERTAINING.
RATING  3 OUT OF 5

STRIPPERLAND

STRIPPERLAND

A TALE OF FOUR PEOPLE TRYING TO SURVIVE IN A WORLD WHERE AN UNKNOWN VIRUS TURNS WOMEN INTO ZOMBIE STRIPPERS.
AN OBVIOUS RIPOFF OF ZOMBIELAND, BUT WITH JUST ENOUGH DIFFERENCES TO KEEP YOUR INTEREST.  THE ACTING, DIRECTING AND WRITING WERE OKAY AND THE SPECIAL EFFECTS WERE BETTER THAN EXPECTED.  NOT A GREAT MOVIE, NOT A BAD MOVIE BUT JUST A MIDDLE OF THE ROAD MOVIE THAT WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH A FEW LAUGHS.
RATING  2.5 OUT OF 5

BEDROOMS

BEDROOMS

THIS IS A MOVIE THAT HAS FOUR DIFFERENT SEPARATE STORIES: A YOUNG COUPLE HEADING TOWARD DIVORCE, A WIFE HAVING A ONE NIGHT STAND, A COUPLE WHO ARE CHEATING ON THEIR SPOUSES AND TEN YEAR OLD TWINS TRYING TO COPE WITH THEIR PARENTS' BREAKUP.
I THINK THIS MOVIE TRIED TO MAKE SOME SORT OF SOCIAL STATEMENT ABOUT THE WORLD OF MARRIAGE AND THE MANY PROBLEMS THAT LIE WITHIN THAT WORLD, BUT THE WRITING ISN'T STRONG OR INTERESTING ENOUGH TO DO THAT.  THE STORIES AND DIALOGUE ARE CLICHED AND NOTHING NEW OR FRESH IS INTRODUCED, PLUS YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN FROM THE VERY START.  AS FOR THE ACTING, I THINK THE WRITING HELD THE PERFORMANCES IN CHECK, SO THE ACTORS WERE ONLY AS GOOD AS WHAT THEY HAD TO WORK WITH.  YOU SHOULD PROBABLY ONLY WATCH THIS IF YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO WATCH.
RATING  2 OUT OF 5  

THE PERFECT HOST

THE PERFECT HOST
     DAVID HYDE PIERCE  CLAYNE CRAWFORD

JOHN TAYLOR (CRAWFORD) IS ON THE RUN FROM THE POLICE AFTER ROBBING A BANK.  HE ENDS UP IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF WARWICK WILSON (PIERCE) WHO IS ABOUT TO HAVE A DINNER PARTY.  TAYLOR CONS HIS WAY INTO WILSON'S HOUSE, BUT SOON FINDS OUT THAT THINGS AREN'T AS THEY APPEAR TO BE.
ONCE TAYLOR GETS INTO WILSON'S HOUSE, THIS MOVIE BECOMES A WILD UNPREDICTABLE RIDE THAT WILL HAVE YOU CRINGING, LAUGHING AND ASKING YOURSELF WHAT IS GOING ON.  HYDE PIERCE PUTS IN A GREAT PERFORMANCE, GOING FROM BEING CREEPY TO FUNNY TO JUST PLAIN CRAZY WITH EASE.  CRAWFORD IS JUST AS GOOD: HIS CHARACTER IS CAUGHT UP IN THIS UNFORESEEN LUNATIC EXPERIENCE AND IS JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE.  AS A SUBPLOT, THROUGH FLASHBACKS WE FIND OUT WHY TAYLOR ROBBED THE BANK, BUT WE LATER LEARN EVEN THAT IS NOT WHAT WE THOUGHT.  THE STORY IS GOOD, THE DIRECTING KEEPS THE PACE MOVING AND THE PERFORMANCES ARE GREAT.  I COMPLETELY ENJOYED THIS MOVIE.
RATING  3.5 OUT OF 5

Monday, April 9, 2012

AN INVISIBLE SIGN

AN INVISIBLE SIGN
     JESSICA ALBA  CHRIS MESSINA  SONIA BRAGA  JOHN SHEA  J.K. SIMMONS

MONA (ALBA) AND HER FATHER (SHEA) SHARE A LOVE FOR TWO THINGS: RUNNING AND MATH.  ONE DAY HER FATHER IS STRUCK WITH MENTAL ILLNESS, WHICH DEVASTATES MONA SO MUCH THAT SHE GIVES UP EVERYTHING THAT SHE ENJOYED DOING THINKING IT WILL HELP CURE HER FATHER, EXCEPT MATH.  AS A RESULT, AS AN ADULT THE ONLY INTEREST MONA HAS IN HER LIFE IS MATH.  THROUGH ACTIONS OF HER MOTHER (BRAGA) MONA MOVES OUT ON HER OWN AND TAKES A JOB AS AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER.  IT IS THROUGH HER STUDENTS, A FORMER TEACHER (SIMMONS) AND A FELLOW TEACHER (MESSINA) THAT MONA FINALLY LEARNS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT.
THERE ARE DEFINITELY SOME STRANGE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THIS MOVIE: THE CONSEQUENCES OF BRINGING AN AXE INTO A THIRD GRADE CLASSROOM, STUDENTS FIGHTING OVER A FAKE ARM AND A GIRL WEARING A WREATH MADE OUT OF MEDICAL IV TUBING.  THERE ARE SOME TOUCHING MOMENTS: THE FLASHBACKS SHOWING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MONA AND HER FATHER, THE WISH OF A DYING MOTHER TO HAVE MONA CHECK IN ON HER DAUGHTER AND THE GROWING RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MONA AND HER STUDENTS.  THEN THERE IS THE QUIRKINESS OF MONA: KNOCKING ON WOOD WHEN LONELY, RUNNING AWAY FROM ANYTHING THAT IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND EATING SOAP TO GET RID OF ANY GOOD FEELINGS SHE MAY BE HAVING.  THIS ALL ADDS UP TO A WELL WRITTEN, DIRECTED AND ACTED MOVIE.
RATING  3 OUT OF 5

THE RIVER WHY

THE RIVER WHY
     ZACH GILFORD  AMBER HEARD  WILLIAM HURT  KATHLEEN QUINLAN
     DALLAS ROBERTS

WHEN GUS (GILFORD) GETS FED UP WITH HIS PARENTS' (HURT AND QUINLAN) BICKERING, HE DECIDES TO LEAVE HOME, LIVE ON A RIVER, FLY FISH ALL DAY AND TRY TO FIND HIMSELF.  WHILE ON HIS SEARCH, HE MEETS TITUS (ROBERTS) WHO SHOWS GUS HOW TO LOOK AT LIFE THROUGH PHILOSOPHY AND SPIRITUALITY, AND EDDY (HEARD) THE GIRL HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH.
THIS IS A CHARACTER DRIVEN MOVIE USING FLY FISHING AS A BACKDROP IN SHOWING HOW GUS GROWS AND MATURES IN HIS SEARCH TO FIND THE MEANING OF WHY HE IS HERE.  THERE IS QUITE A LOT OF FISHING SCENES, BUT THE DIRECTOR HAS MANAGED TO SHOW EACH DIFFERENTLY SO THAT THEY DON'T BECOME BORING OR APPEAR TO REPEAT.  ACROSS THE BOARD, THE ACTING WAS GOOD, ESPECIALLY HURT AS THE OVERBEARING FULL OF HIMSELF FATHER AND QUINLAN AS JUST THE OPPOSITE: A DOWN TO EARTH NO NONSENSE COUNTRY WOMAN.  THEY MAKE AN INTERESTING COUPLE.  THE STORY, ADAPTED FROM A BOOK OF THE SAME NAME, GETS THE THEMES ACROSS, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN HIT ACROSS THE HEAD WITH THEM.  TWO OF THE MAJOR THEMES ARE THE SENSE OF SOME GREATER POWER EXISTING WITH US, AND THE NEED TO PROTECT AND KEEP OUR RIVERS CLEAN AND NON POLLUTED.  MY ONLY COMPLAINT IS THAT GUS DOES A LOT OF NARRATION, WHICH IN GENERAL I DISLIKE, AND IN THIS MOVIE IT SEEMS TO TAKE AWAY FROM THE STORY, BUT THEN THAT IS MY PERSONAL FEELING. 
RATING  3 OUT OF 5

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

THE SPEED OF THOUGHT

THE SPEED OF THOUGHT
     NICK STAHL  TARYN MANNING  MIA MAESTRO  WALLACE SHAWN

JOSHUA LAZARUS (STAHL) HAS THE ABILITY TO READ OTHER PEOPLE'S MINDS.  HE WAS RECRUITED AS A CHILD BY THE GOVERNMENT TO LEARN HOW TO USE HIS POWER, AND THEN EMPLOYED BY THE NSA TO GAIN INTELLIGENCE ON DIFFERENT ENEMIES OF THE USA.  HE HAS ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT HIS GIFT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL HIM, UNTIL HE MEETS ANNA (MAESTRO) WHO ALSO HAS THIS POWER BUT HAS NEVER BEEN TAUGHT HOW TO USE IT.  THEY SOON LEARN THAT LAZARUS' TEACHER (SHAWN) HAS BEEN LYING ABOUT DIEING, AND ALONG WITH JOSHUA'S BEST FRIEND KIRA (MANNING) THEY SET OUT TO FIND THE TRUTH.
BACK IN 1981, HORROR DIRECTOR DAVID CRONENBERG MADE A MOVIE CALLED SCANNERS ABOUT A GROUP OF PEOPLE WITH THE ABILITY TO SCAN MINDS WHO WERE GOING TO USE THAT POWER FOR WORLD DOMINATION.  THE SPEED OF THOUGHT REMINDED ME A LOT OF SCANNERS, AND ALTHOUGH THE STORIES ARE DIFFERENT, THE MAIN IDEA OF THE STORY IS THE SAME FOR BOTH MOVIES.  AND, AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT WITH CRONENBERG, SCANNERS WAS VERY INTENSE AND GRAPHIC.  THE SPEED OF THOUGHT IS NOT.  IT DOES HAVE ITS MOMENTS, BUT RATHER THAN SHOW THE PHYSICAL EFFECTS OF BEING "SCOPED" IT DELVES INTO THE MENTAL EFFECTS.  THIS IS OKAY, EXCEPT THE DIRECTOR CHOSE TO SHOW THIS BY USING WAVY BLURRY LIGHT EFFECTS AND SOME SIMPLE CGI, WHICH LEAVES YOU WANTING SOMETHING MORE SUBSTANTIAL.  FINALLY, THE ENDING SEEMS THAT EVERYTHING WAS WRAPPED UP A LITTLE TO EASILY.
RATING  2.5 OUT OF 5

THE CALLER

THE CALLER
     STEPHEN MOYER  RACHELLE LEFEVRE  LUIS GUZMAN

MARY (LEFEVRE) IS GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE AND DECIDES TO GET HER OWN PLACE.  SHORTLY AFTER MOVING IN SHE MEETS HER NEIGHBOR (GUZMAN) AND THEN STARTS GETTING THESE PHONE CALLS FROM RUTH.  AT FIRST, MARY THINKS RUTH IS JUST A LONELY CRAZY WOMAN NEEDING SOMEONE TO TALK TO, BUT MARY SOON LEARNS THAT THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM.  MARY'S NEW BOYFRIEND (MOYER) TRIES TO HELP HER, BUT THEN HE MAY NOT BE WHO MARY THINKS HE IS EITHER.
THIS IS A WELL MADE MOVIE, THE ACTING IS GOOD ENOUGH, THE STORY KEEPS YOUR INTEREST AND THE DIRECTION KEEPS THE STORY MOVING ALONG, BUT THERE'S NOT MUCH THAT HAPPENS UNTIL THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES OR SO.  WHEN IT IS OVER, YOU MIGHT WONDER WHAT HAPPENED, BUT I THINK IT IS MADE CLEAR ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND.  THIS PRESENTS ITSELF AS MORE OF A THRILLER THAN AN HORROR MOVIE, BUT THE MAJOR PROBLEM IS THAT IT JUST ISN'T THAT THRILLING.
RATING  2 OUT OF 5